


Isosceles Triangles

by RosaLeoa



Series: pink, purple and blue [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Biphobia, Bisexual Ben Solo, Bisexual Finn (Star Wars), Bisexual Rey (Star Wars), Bisexual Rose Tico, But mostly fluff, Communist characters, Corgi BB-8, Daddy Kink, Enthusiastic Consent, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Poe Dameron, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Light BDSM, M/M, Mention to Rey having a past relationship, Monogamous Reylo, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Poe Dameron, Past Rey/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron is biphobic, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Rose Tico Deserved Better, Slice of Life, Snoke is a Bigot, The Resistance is Anticapitalist, hoping to add some more good Latinx representation to this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25033885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosaLeoa/pseuds/RosaLeoa
Summary: Paolo Dameron is out and proud as a gay man since the mid-90s. He's a committed member of the Resistance Party and works as an Economic researcher in the Organa foundation in New York. At a rally, he meets Finn Okafor and they fall in love. They were very happy and had an explicitly non-monogamous relationship. But then Poe has to deal with his own biphobia when Finn introduces him to his girlfriend, Rose Tico.It's a classic telenovela triangle, but theirs doesn't have to end in heartbreak.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Poe Dameron & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron & Rose Tico, Poe Dameron/Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn/Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo
Series: pink, purple and blue [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814467
Comments: 20
Kudos: 15
Collections: Queerly Beloved Reylo Fics





	1. Let's go chasing rainbows in the sky

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first Star Wars fanfiction, my first AO3 fanfiction, and my first everything written primarily in English. Another important thing: I've never been to the US (or anywhere outside my own country), so NY was chosen due to being an "easy" city to get references.  
> That being said, this is a mostly light work, written just for the sake of venting my headcanons for these three. This is a long conversation between queer activists, in a Love Story format. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much I am enjoying writing.
> 
> (many thanks to reywritethestar, minha querida inglesinha, for volunteering to be my Beta)

Paolo Ernesto Bey Cameron had always been su mamá’s chiquito precioso [1]. It was with her that he watched telenovelas while making empanadas that melted on the mouth. Sarah Bey and Enriques Dameron had been guerrilla fighters during the Guatemalan Civil War, in the late 60s and early 70s. After seeing almost all of their comrades die or disappear, they fled to Chile, looking for a safer country in Latin America to live. Soon after Presidente Allende was forced to kill himself on September 11 of 1973, Leah Organa, the person responsible for taking care of important assets in Latin America for their branch of the International Trotskyist insisted on them to come to the US. They could lay low for a while and Enriques could get access to mental healthcare for his severe PTSD. Therefore, Paolo was a US citizen. In his house, there was no such thing as calling them "Americans". "US citizens" for formal settings and "gringos" and "yankees" for everyday talking. Sarah would always correct Paolito with a tender smile and a simple "América es un continente, mi amor" [2].

Paolo was six when he found out he was fundamentally different from the other kids in his school. Not due to his love of Brazilian and Mexican telenovelas, or the fact that they spoke Spanish in his house, that was relatively common in the Bronx. No. It was the huge Che Guevara and Rosa Luxemburg posters on his father's office in his house, and the multiple communist books in the family's small library, and the fact that they talked constantly about the day the revolution would come that fundamentally set Paolo apart from the other kids. He was also the only one he knew whose father was so haunted by the past that even seeing people in uniforms could put him in a dissociative state.

When he was nine, he figured out that he was even weirder than he previously thought. Che Guevara wasn't a simple revolutionary inspiration for him, but also his first serious crush. He would pine for the actors in the telenovelas he watched with his mamá and the singers on the radio. There were no words for how he felt, until the other kids noticed what he tried to keep a secret.

Maricón. Faggot. Pato. Queer. Sissy.

In the Ball Scene, that an older boy from his school secretly took him one night when he was thirteen and he never left, he learned others: queen; butch; femme; top; bottom. Many would come and go. "Gay" was what he figured out for himself when he was sixteen. It was his badge of honor.

Sarah had already passed away when this happened and Paolo only had to have this conversation with his dad. They had a very strained relationship since she died and Paolo did most of the household chores and remembering him to always take his meds. It was one day, when Enriques was "joking" that, if he continued that path, he would turn into a sissy, that Paolo decided it was enough.

"Well, I have some bad news for you: I am a sissy already, papi. Soy un grandísimo maricón y me gustan mucho los hombres [3]. The stronger the better."

He was 17 and going to almost as many funerals as his parents went to in Guatemala. This time, instead of the army, it was the aids that took away his friends. His dad stared at him in shock for a few seconds, and then, something he could never imagine happened: for the second time in his life, Paolo saw Enriques cry.

"¡No! Paolo, ¡te ván a pegarte en la calle! Ay, chiquito precioso, el mundo es tan malo. Dime que estas bromeando, por favor, Paolito." [4]

He pleaded with him for days on end, each day finding more new reasons to. He would never be an abuelito. He would never see him have a beautiful bride. He would have to bury his son when the gay plague took him. Eventually, Paolo couldn't take it anymore and went to live at Leah Organa's place for a while. She supported Paolo's coming out and assured him every day that Sarah would too.

In that year, he got a scholarship in Berkeley and left to live his life in San Francisco for six years and never spoke to his father again, not even when Paolo went back to New York to work for Leah in the Organa Foundation as an Economic Researcher.

When Ben told Paolo that Rey, an undergrad, had made the official complaint about the snide comments made by the head of the Politics department Professor Snoke calling her "that dirty dyke from the student's movement", they really wanted to believe that NYU, of all places, would take this seriously. But Paolo, being an LGBT activist for the past 3 decades, and Ben, having recently defected Snoke's advisement in the middle of his Ph.D., were already expecting what happened. NYU buried the complaint so deep that six months after it, Rey had not been contacted by anyone to hear her out. Meanwhile, now Professor Snoke was focusing his hatred on her with the intensity of a thousand suns. Ben would fill him in on this dispute in his out of the blue's appearances at Paolo's house for dinner. Apparently, this Rey girl had been the key element for him finally breaking free from that barely disguised fascist ring that Snoke ruled upon.

Paolo had seen Ben grow up, since their mothers were comrades in the Resistance Party, and they were kind of friends for a moment when Ben was in his teens. But as soon as he got in college, he cut all his ties with his family and his old friends, alleging that he now knew better and they were all fakes living lies. Now, ten years later, he was trying to figure out who he was and what he believed.

"There will be a rally. The student's union is going to march on campus next week, since it is Pride month, and Rey is afraid that they're pushing for the complaint to expire." They were sitting on Paolo's couch drinking beers and wondering if they were going out or staying in. Paolo didn't want to leave the house, he had just adopted a corgi pup - whom he named Bebé [5] - and didn't think it was a good idea to leave him alone in his very much filled with breakable stuff apartment.

"I think it's about time. But this girl, Rey, isn't she an immigrant on a scholarship? Isn't she afraid of retaliation?" Ben looked fondly at the puppy that slept on his lap, smiling while petting him.

"I mean, yeah, but she's the kind of person who believes in doing the right thing above all. And she's practically graduating, she just needs to turn in some final papers. My mom has said she will help her find a job and have a work visa."

"That's really nice of Leah. Pretty on-brand for her. And will you go to the rally, querido [6]?"

"Probably not. I wish I could. Rey knew I wish I could help her, but the idea to be there again, to possibly see him… It just makes me sick on my stomach, P."

It was so weird to see such a huge man so fragile in front of him. Paolo knew bad things, besides being brainwashed, had happened to him under the thumb of Snoke. Ben wouldn't let Paolo touch him in any way since they reconnected.

"Well, I'm not a student there - nor anywhere for some time now - but I could go, Ben. To put one more body there for this girl. After all, I fully understand what it means to be targeted for my sexuality and it wouldn't be the first time I go to something a lesbian has organized."

"Rey is not a lesbian."

"Oh, he was using those words just for her being a feminist? I hadn't understood that he was this disturbed."

"No, P, she was dating a girl back then."

"So, a lesbian?"

Ben gave a tired sigh and rolled his eyes.

"She's bisexual, Paolo. There's a B in the acronym, you know?"

It was Paolo's turn to roll his eyes.

"Ok, she's  _ bisexual _ , if you say so, querido. It's a millennial trend this thing with bisexuality? Sometimes I'm under the impression that all of us are going to be turned into softer versions of being gay."

Ben sat straight and very rigidly, looking Paolo in the eyes with a frown on his face.

"I don't know what part about being harassed by a powerful Professor when you're an undergrad is soft for you, P. And, all this time, I've never pegged you for being a bigot against bisexuals."

"I'm not! People can call themselves whatever they want, I don't have a say in it, but it's more convenient to be bi than to really say you're gay. Rey was only targeted because Snoke saw her as a lesbian."

"She literally has spoken multiple times in public forums about being bisexual, P. That doesn't protect anyone. To the heteronormativity, if you're not cis and straight, you're trash no matter what else."

"Look at you, yesterday you would quote Mises, now you're quoting Butler."

"Fuck you, Paolo."

With that, Ben delicately put Bebé on the sofa and stormed out of Paolo's place.

Even if Ben had taken that girl's pains for himself and still refused to talk to him for the rest of that week, Poe went to the rally. It was the beginning of June and, weirdly, a cold wind blew across the city. Paolo put on his beat-up militant jacket - the one thick enough to protect him from police batons that he would always wear when leaving his house for combat - and crossed the city towards the NYU Humanities campus.

When he arrived, about 30 people gathered on the sidewalk, really close to each other to try to protect themselves from the wind. Their signs would constantly flap on their own faces and it took no effort to make the rainbow flag flutter beautifully above their heads. Paolo was immediately smitten by the beautiful black guy holding it beside the white girl with a weird hairdo and a British accent commanding attention on the megaphone. Objectively looking at her, he could see why Ben felt so hard that he needed to emphasize that Rey wasn't, in fact, a lesbian. Well, she spoke like most politically active lesbians Paolo had known, so it would be a surprise for him if that was really the fact.

"Together, we demand NYU to take action about this now! It's really easy for the faculty to make generic statements supporting the feminist movement and saying they're pro-LGBT rights, but we need to see professor Snoke be held accountable for his actions! I'm not his only victim, I'm just the first to not silence in fear and to have recorded proof of my claims!"

The small crowd cheered with her words. Paolo took one of the signs that were on the ground, without reading it, and just held it up because his point there was just to help Ben. And this girl. And to bring that creep down. That was when the beautiful guy that he hadn't stopped looking at reciprocated his eye contact and smiled at him. The girl ended her speech and a tiny Asian woman assumed the command, leading the crowd with the traditional rhythmic chants.

"Hey." A melodic voice with a British accent spoke beside him. Paolo turned to see who he was and there was the cute guy standing next to him. "I don't think we've met, I'm Finn."

"Hi. I'm Paolo, we haven't met because I'm here as a favor to a friend. Ben Solo. He's friends with your friend there, Rey, and I came here because he couldn't come." Finn's face crunched in disgust for a millisecond and then he relaxed and smiled again.

"Well, if Ben Solo has a personal friend who's a committed bisexual activist, I think he's not as bad as he seems."

"If he has what…?" Paolo blinked a few times confused by what this guy was talking about.

"You're not a committed activist? I'm sorry, I didn't want to assume since you're here and…"

"I'm gay."

It was Finn's time to look surprised. Then he laughed a really big laugh.

"You didn't even read your sign, right?"

"What about it…?" And, when Paolo turned the sign, he instantly understood. It said "I'm bi and I won't be invisible". Well, life really was ironic. Paolo laughed too. "I'm sorry, I assumed the signs just needed to be held up and didn't really put much thought into it."

"So not bi and not a committed activist, then."

"Hey! I take offense on this. I'm a very serious socialist, thank you very much. And do a lot of work as an LGBT activist too."

"I'm sorry,  Pablo, I didn't want to offend you. I don't like to get on the bad side of cute blokes."

"My name is actually Paolo, cute gringo."

"And mine is actually Ifeanyichukwu. If you can say it, I'll try yours. Also, I'm too black and too much of an African immigrant to be a gringo. Rey, though, you can call a gringa as much as you please, I won't fight you on that."

Paolo laughed and raised his hands in defeat.

"I won't even try your name because I know I'll butcher it. But please don't call me Pablo, there was a whole Thing for my mom to have a son called Paolo."

"Hm… Poe is cool?"

"Paul?"

"No, Poe. Like the poet, you know? I mean, your hair is raven-black and I can make a lot of poetic explanations to why Poe, but I think it suits you nicely."

"With that kind of argument, how can one say no?"

"Please, say that to my Penal Professor, I'm a Law student in Columbia, and she nags me hard about my debate skills." Finn had this smooth smile during their conversation, but, in that moment, Paolo realized that he was trying really hard not to shiver in his short-sleeved T-shirt.

"Oh no, you're cold. Here, have my jacket." Paolo took it out and was handing it to him. Finn tried to argue that there was no need. "I'm really not cold. See? My shirt has sleeves, unlike yours. I just wear this in case there's a confrontation with the police. It cushions the blows a little bit. Please."

"Well, with that kind of argument, how can one say no?" Saying his words back to him, Finn handed Paolo the rainbow flag to put it on. "Wow, it's really comfy. Poe, I think you just lost your jacket. You can keep the flag and give me the sign, though, so no one else mistakenly thinks you're bi."

This guy was really something. Paolo bit on his lower lip seductively and looked at him through his lashes before saying:

"It looks better on you, anyway." There was a moment of silence there, in which Finn just looked at Paolo's lips, like he was wondering what the next step would be. He could invite him back to his apartment, but it was kind of messy and there was something in Finn that made him want to have a proper date with him, to see him in a situation that said he wasn't just a random hook up. "But, if you're going to keep my precious jacket, I will need to be compensated with a coffee, guapo [7]."  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translation notes:  
> [1] his mom's precious little boy  
> [2] America is a continent, my love  
> [3] I'm a huge fag and I love men a lot.  
> [4] No! Paolo, you'll be bashed in the streets! Oh, my precious little boy, the world is so horrible. Tell me you're joking, please, Paolito.  
> [5] Bebé is pronounced like "BB" in Spanish (and Portuguese)  
> [6] Dear  
> [7] Cute
> 
> [Notes for those who want to research what I'm mentioning here]  
> 1) Guatemala's Civil War: The Guatemalan Civil War was a civil war in Guatemala fought from 1960 to 1996 between the government of Guatemala and various leftist rebel groups. These were supported initially by ethnic Maya indigenous peoples and Ladino peasants, who together make up the rural poor. The government forces have been condemned for committing genocide against the Maya population of Guatemala during the civil war and for widespread human rights violations against civilians. The context of the struggle was based on longstanding issues of unfair land distribution; European-descended residents and foreign companies, such as the American United Fruit Company, had dominated with control over much of the land, conflicting with the rural poor. (from Wikipedia)  
> 2) Presidente Allende's death: On September 11, 1973, Salvador Allende, President of Chile, died of self-inflicted gunshot wounds during a coup d'état led by Augusto Pinochet, Commander-in-Chief of the Chilean Army. After decades of suspicions that Allende might have been assassinated by the Chilean Armed Forces, a Chilean court in 2011 authorized the exhumation and autopsy of Allende's remains. A team of international experts examined the remains and concluded that Allende had shot himself with an AK-47 assault rifle. (from Wikipedia)  
> 3) The Fourth International is a real communist organization that I may or may not have been a member of. The Resistance here is kind of a stand-in for it. "Trotskyists" are communists that align themselves with the ideas of León Trotsky. The Fourth also is heavily inspired by Ernesto Mandel  
> 4) For those interested in knowing more about what was the Ball Culture Scene that Poe grew up in, look at the TV Show "Pose"  
> 5) Ludwig von Mises, the father of the Viena Economic School and the most neoliberal of the neoliberals  
> 6) Judith Butler: philosopher, Jewish, lesbian, anticapitalist, the biggest name in Queer Theory.


	2. Waiting for you to justify my love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Jane the Virgin narrator's voice*  
> Hello friends! So, in our last chapter, our hero was kind of a dick to his friend and met a really cute guy at a rally. Now it's time for Poe to try and make things better with Ben and have his first date with Finn.  
> How will those go?  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than the last and the next. But it's like we say to cis men all the time: it's not the size that matters, dear, it's what you do with what you have.  
> Also, this was posted without being Beta-ed first because I was really anxious to have it online. Remember that ESL and any mistakes may be corrected later.

Ben texted him again the day after the rally asking if they could hang out. He showed up at 7 pm that Saturday with some IPAs and Chinese take-out.

"So I heard you went to the rally and apparently aren't biphobic anymore. And that now you go by Poe?" Were his opening words.

"I never was biphobic, Bencito, I'm just an old queen worried that these youngsters are taking this identity politics too far and weakening the movement by fragmenting us. You wouldn't understand since this is not something that concerns you directly."

Ben huffed a bitter laugh while drinking his beer.

"A part of me hopes that you say this kind of shit to Finn. He's not as hot-headed as Rey, so he won't murder you, but you'll definitely spoil your chances with him."

"Why is that? Is he a passionate bi ally like you?"

"Not an ally."

"What?"

"Finn is bisexual, _Poe_. I always thought that he was pretty explicit about it."

Paolo sat there for a few moments replaying their interactions and realized that Finn implicitly said it to him, yes. Oh, boy, those millennials were going to be the death of him.

"Ok. I don't care. He's hot and I really like him. He can say he's whatever he wants."

"I really don't want to fight you today, I already have enough stress coming from my mom, P. Can you can it for the rest of the night and turn on the TV on some novela or something?"

"Fine, pass me that beer."

  
  


Finn and Poe met the next Saturday at a coffee place that had tables on the sidewalk and he could take Bebé. When Poe came back from the rally in the prior week, Bebé had chewed several objects including his phone charger and, to make matters worse, the puppy pooped pieces of rubber from Poe's destroyed chanclas for a few days. So now Poe decided that he wouldn't leave Bebé alone until he was properly trained. Finn arrived first and Poe noticed that his jacket was hanging on the back of his chair.

"Hey! How are you?" Finn got up from his chair so fast that it almost fell on the floor.

"Oh my god, Poe, _your dog_!"

Poe felt a bit of jealousy that Finn barely looked at his face before crouching to pet Bebé, but, at the same time, it was really endearing of him. And made him feel like a proud papa to Bebé, who was, in his opinion, the cutest smoochiest thing in the whole world, yes. Bebé was also infatuated with Finn, jumping and licking his face with joy, his small tail wiggling so hard that his whole tiny butt danced with it adorkably.

"His name is Bebé and I'm glad you guys like each other."

"You would have to be a monster to not love this wiwe paws. And this wiwe nose. And this wiwe… Oh my god, his arse is the cutest thing." Finn petted Bebé until a woman came to ask them if their table was empty and she could sit there.

When they finally went back to the table Finn had secured for them, Finn stopped and looked at Poe, slightly sheepish.

"I'm sorry for being so smitten with your dog and neglecting you."

"That's ok, no one is really a match for a corgi pup. It actually makes me happy that you like dogs so much."

Taking Bebé to that date was the best mistake he made in his entire life. Finn was so endeared with the dog that they ended up playing in the park nearby and chatting until the sky was dark.

"My parents were from Lagos. From my mom's journals, I know that they've met in college. She was going to be a biochemist and he studied Economics, as you did. They left the country when she got pregnant with me, in 1991."

Finn and Poe were sitting on a bench, watching Bebé run around in circles chasing his own tail and barking at insects. Poe asked him about the "African immigrant" thing.

"I say immigrants because they were never officially recognized as refugees. But they were running from the Military Regimen. My dad was involved in politics and they were afraid of something bad happening. So I was born in the UK. They died when I was three. I don't really remember and, since it's not on any of my mom's notes for obvious reasons, I don't know specifics. The social worker said it was some kind of freak domestic accident involving the stove. How I've survived is a mystery."

Poe got a little bit closer to Finn, letting the side of his body press his. Finn was the one to take the initiative to hold his hand, and Poe squeezed it a little.

"My parents were un-official refugees too. The Resistance eventually was able to jump through some hoops and get my dad a work-related visa so he could have access to healthcare treatment. He has pretty bad PTSD from his time in the Civil War in Guatemala and prison."

"I'm sorry to hear that. How is he now?"

"We haven't spoken in 20 years. Almost as long as you're alive, guapo. He couldn't handle having me for a son so I spared him the trouble and he has no son anymore. Leah says that, if my mom was still alive, it would be different. That she could always make him see reason and to put love first."

Finn put his head on Poe's shoulder and nuzzled his nose tenderly on it a little bit. Poe turned his head and smelled the deep and sweet scent of coconut oil that Finn's scalp had. It was like his favorite cake.

"So I know how hard it is to be a teenager with no family in the world." He whispered against Finn's cornrows.

"But I had a family. I had Rey. We met in the foster system when we were 10 and, even when we were in different houses, we never let go of each other. For a while was a little confusing for me, because she was my first childhood crush. But then I realized we were better off as siblings and got over her. Also, I love her a lot but that girl has serious anger issues that are Ben's to deal with now."

They stayed in silence for a while and Poe let go of Finn's hand to embrace him. Finn took his other hand, then, and turned his palm up to draw random patterns with the tip of his fingers.

"I was meaning to ask you… What makes you bi?"

"Besides my uttermost incapacity to sit properly, love for communicating through finger guns, having had an emo phase as a teen and refusing to choose between pizza and ice cream, you mean?" They laughed a little bit.

"No, I'm serious. Recently someone I care about accused me of being biphobic and I think I don't really understand what this means. I… I was branded a maricón as a 9-year-old-boy and basically that was it for me. I mean, I kind of already had a thing for Che Guevara and a telenovela actor, sure. And they weren't exactly wrong. I was different. I… I just don't understand, Finn, this thing where everything is fluid, where you say you're out and proud and loud and go as a straight couple at the Parade."

"Wow, that's... a lot to unpack." Finn raised his head from Poe's shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "A few years ago, I would probably just leave, but I'm doing therapy now and I can see that you have other interesting qualities and, so far, I still want to believe you're just really ignorant and saying these things in good faith. Bisexuality isn't new. To humanity or to Pride. Actually, I find it very funny that you mentioned Pride because it was a bi woman that organized the first Parade. Her name was Brenda Howard* and I strongly suggest you to look her up on Google later. I'm not going to teach Bisexuals 101 for you here, I think you're smart and, if you really have been an activist since the 90s, you also are able to find your yellow brick road by yourself." He was very calm saying those words and the reassuring thing was that he hadn't let go of Poe's hand. "Let's talk about the parts that have anything to do with us, shall we? Your sexual awakening was Che Guevara and, cool, I get it, no judgement from me. I find it a bit ironic, but yeah, who never had a crush on a homophobic dude before can cast the first stone. My sexual awakening was The Mummy. I really couldn't decide if I wanted to be Evie to date Rick or Rick to date Evie. My subconscious usually took turns on this debacle. And being a young black boy in a sea of white people was hard too. Until I got some decent Hale Berry and Will Smith and Idris Elba references and internalized that they were beautiful and I was beautiful, it took a while. Hell, it's still hard. I don't have a better explanation to give to you, Poe. I wasn't a flamboyant child, I probably could have taken a road of deep repression and pretense and eventually found a woman that I would love and live a fake life with her. But that would be the closet. That would be a lie. I can, eventually, find a woman that I love and want to live a life with her, but it won't be fake because I will be me. With this life and these experiences that I'm living. With you being a part of it. And, if that happens, I want to see anyone try to take Pride away from me. It took me a long road to not be ashamed anymore and Rey and I promised each other we would never go back to that desert."

It was really a lot to unpack. But Poe knew he wanted it. He wanted to go to Google, to libraries, to anywhere to learn whatever he would have to learn to be better. To be worthy of that amazing man that could melt thousands of hearts with his passionate words. Finn was really something else.

"Lo siento tanto, cariño [2]. I don't want you to have any kind of shame in your life again too. I promise I'll…"

"Poe?"

"Hm?"

"Can we just kiss already?"

And so he complied. He would learn through the years that he sucked at denying Finn things. Especially a kiss in those full and kissable lips. Finn let go of Poe's hands to hold him by the short hairs at his nape and push him eagerly closer, almost sitting on his lap. Poe, always a little skittish with blatant demonstrations of desire in public, had to tame his own heart, that started playing a crazy samba in his chest when Finn tugged his hair just a little bit and gently scraped his bottom lip with his teeth. He held Finn firmly in place by his broad waist. That or he was using Finn's torso as an anchor to not go away flying aimlessly through New York's skies. He could, here and there, blow up a whole star just for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter was named after Maddona's song "Justify my love"  
> [Spanish notes]  
> [2] I'm so sorry, my dear.
> 
> [Research notes]  
> 1) In 1990, Nigeria suffered an attempt at a military coup. But the country was already ruled by the military. This furthered the political uncertainty in the country. Chimamanda Adichie talks about it in Americanah and Purple Hibiscus.   
> * No, seriously, go look up who Brenda Howard was. https: // www.them. us/story/brenda-howard  
> 2) This is a good time as any to recommend people from outside Latin America to do a serious research about Che Guevara and Cuba and not take things at face value. The Baptista Regimen was a monstruous blood-shedding dictatorship and the revolution was widely supported by the Cuban population. The Cuban government in the first decades WASN'T more homophobic than, say, the UK or the US in the same period. I just need people to stop believing the Pink Washing propaganda of the capitalist States. Is Cuba perfect? No. Is Cuba a dictatorship? Also no.


	3. E algum veneno que me dê alegria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe and Finn have been dating for a few months and Poe needs to learn to be open and vulnerable. Also, Halloween party with pretty much all of the youngsters in the scene!  
> (this Resistance parties of the Resistance Party may or may not be based on the parties my old Party uses to organize in my hometown. I mean, Trotskyists are wild and if everyone needs receipts, just look at Frida Kahlo)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is my Second Language and this chapter also is being published without being revised because I'm an anxious person and these two fanfictions (this and The Villain I Appear to Be) are currently the best thing happening in my life

Being an almost 40-year-old man, Poe had plenty of time to learn what he liked and disliked in his relationships. For starters, he wasn't much into the whole concept of relationships at all and especially the whole dating ordeal in particular. He had spent most of his 20s and some of his 30s in the Club and Ball scenes just randomly fucking people. In San Francisco, he was the link that sexually connected all of queer men in the Resistance, and in the activist scene in general.

He seriously dated two guys before, and the truth is that both men broke up with him when he was finally allowing himself to get vulnerable and attached. For some reason, people weren't too keen on staying in his life and no relationship ever conquered the six-month anniversary mark.

"...And that's why I keep finding myself super anxious when Finn asks me what my 'Holiday Traditions' are and if I even celebrate Thanksgiving."

"And do you? Celebrate Thanksgiving, I mean." Kaydel Connix was a short blond sociologist that worked with him in the Organa Foundation. They both researched well-fare policies that targeted minority groups in order to redistribute wealth. Their essays and papers more often than not were rebranded as Bill proposals by Leah, currently in her millionth mandate in the US Congress.

Kaydel initially found Poe very obnoxious when he had a serious disagreement with Dr. Holdo, the current Foundation's VP. Dr. Amilyn Holdo wanted him to tone down some of his more extremist views - like constantly quoting the Cuban model of education and healthcare in official Foundation material - to make them more palatable to the general public in the US. They were experiencing a change in the tide, with more and more young people aligning themselves with Socialist ideals, but some ingrained prejudices constructed in the Cold War Era were hard to tackle. The thing is that Poe was very tired of the general conservatism in the Latinx community and the erasure of the successful experiences in Latin America. Eventually, he settled for quoting more of Brazilian and Uruguayan politics instead.

In this process, he and Kaydel became a team and then friends. Their research-related meetings more often than not morphed into personal conversations in their shared office. Like they were still in school, they would share their lunches. Kaydel liked to make elaborate salads and bake small fruit tarts for dessert. Poe cooked a variety of bean dishes, originally out of spite due to Kaydel arguing that beans were horrible, and, of course, empanadas.

"Claro que no, Kay, por favor [1]. Why on Earth would I celebrate this supreme gringo holiday that centers around a bunch of white settlers fakely acting like friends to the Native Americans before slaughtering them?"

"Ouch, Poe, sometimes you sound like a grown-up version of Wednesday Addams." Kaydel put an exaggerated face to say this and pointed her fork full of salad accusingly to Poe.

"Thank you but you don't need to flatter me, we are friends already."

"But, ok, let's focus on what matters: you have been dating Finn for four months now (and I'm yet to meet him, which kind of offends me) and we are in October. He wants to make holiday plans with you, which sounds great. He's British, so he probably doesn't care about turkey day either and you both can just hang out and enjoy the day off from work. I mean, I know that the Revolution Day is at the end of the month and you celebrate that, as you're super extra for Halloween, and that you take a day off from work every 1st of November to go to the cemetery and visit your mom. Why not share those with him?"

"I can't share my mom with him, Kaydel." A huge lump formed on his throat just thinking about sharing El Día de Todos los Santos [2] with Finn, showing him Sarah's small grave that he would always fill with daisies, marigolds and White Nun Orchids for her around the year and, especially, on that day. The greatest thing about his dad being a serious atheist was that this only sliver of spirituality that Sarah passed to her son was their private thing.

"Why not?" She asked, soft.

"Weren't you listening? In a month or two, Finn will realize that he has no interest in me anymore and break up with me. Or he will get attached to one of the other guys he's probably banging besides me and I'll slowly fade into the background. There's no Carlos Daniel at the end of my journey, Kay."

"I can't believe I'll have to tell you this, but life is not like La Usurpadora [3], Poe. Love is not a huge larger than life tragic thing. Love is boring everyday hard work; is showing up. And Finn is showing up. He wants to make plans with you, make plans with him. I promise that, if he ends up breaking up with you in a month or two - or you break up with him, you know that there's this possibility, right? - we can have a telenovela marathon. I especially like that Brazilian one that's set in Morocco and nothing makes sense at all."

"O Clone?" [4]

"That one. We will watch this, scream a lot with Jade and Lucas for being two idiots and eat pints and pints of ice cream, ok? But you need to give Finn a chance if you want this to work."

"Every October 20th I stay at home and make chicken and potato empanadas by myself as my mom taught me while listening to happy songs about los Diez Años de Primavera [5], in the 50s, when my parent's country had no wars and workers had rights. That's my closest Holiday."

Finn was on Poe's bed, with his head on Poe's lap and taking a break from reading his most recently acquired Audre Lorde's [6] book, that was resting casually on Finn's chest.

"And can I come here and do that with you or being alone is an important part of it?"

Poe smiled, feeling his chest so warm it tingled. Loving Finn was so easy, but it hurt so much at the same time.

"Do you think you're up to the task of learning how to make my mom's empanadas?" Finn gave him a big smile in return and sat on the bed, putting his book on the bedside table.

"Oh my, will I be punished if I don't make it right?" Asked Finn, sneaking his fingers underneath Poe's sweater. He had the habit of playing with the hairs on Poe's belly and chest, slightly tugging them every time he wanted Poe to be in the mood. "Will you spank me if I'm bad, papi?"

Poe let his hands feel up every turn and muscle of Finn's toned arms and then placed both hands on his neck, forcing Finn's chin up and towards him.

"Eso es lo que se merecen los chicos traviesos." [7]

Finn almost jumped to kiss him, open mouth lavishing on his lips and eager hands pulling on Poe's sweater for him to strip it off.

  
  


He and Finn agreed that they would go together as a couple to the Resistance Halloween Party, that was famous all over the NY's leftist groups for having great amateur DJs and excellent drugs for those into it, and being a generally safe space for all the queers and weirdos that wanted to dance all night and maybe dry-hump on the dance floor. Poe dressed as Dr. Frak'N'Further, happy to be able to wear pumps and make-up in a non-strickly queer scene, and Finn did a very good job as Rocky, even glistening himself all in oil and finding a blonde wig to wear. Somehow, Rey convinced Ben to go with her to the party. She couldn't convince him to wear more than a tag on his sweater saying "Hi, I'm Jim'' and calling it a costume, though. The four of them met at the Party and Rey, Jannah, one of their friends, and Rose - Poe found out the name of the tiny Asian girl at the rally through Finn - dressed up as the new Charlie's Angels.

In that dark and feverish setting, Ben seemed really jitterish and out of place and Poe decided to sacrifice part of his night to sit with him on some stools by the bar while Finn danced with the girls. They drank beers side by side, not touching, as Ben preferred.

"I'm glad to see that you and Finn are doing well! You seem happier lately, Poe!" He had to get himself closer to Poe and almost scream to be heard.

"Thanks! I am happy, yeah! And you and Rey are really serious, huh?!" Ben gave a scared look at the dance floor and played a little bit with the bottle, that looked almost like a toy on his humongous hands. Poe felt a smile tugging on his lips, thinking about how much he still resembled the scrawny boy with big ears. Poe looked too, especially at the group they were with.

Finn, Jannah, Rey, and Rose were dancing in the middle of the crowd. Finn and Jannah showing off their voguing abilities and serving face. Rey was kind of a disaster dancing, a real white girl with no control whatsoever of her hips, but she laughed at herself and shook her wig from side to side, focusing on "hairography". Rose was kind of a surprise to Poe. She was sensuously dancing with a girl from the party several inches taller than her, and really commanding her attention. In the timeframe Poe was looking, she kissed her hard and their dance morphed to grinding each other on the dancefloor. 

"I don't know… I mean… We have been dating for a couple months and I… I really like her, but... " Then he ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I mean, let's be real, Poe, why would she want to be serious with me?"

"Why would anyone want to be serious with anyone, Ben?"

"Yeah, no. But, no, I'm… I'm a..."

But Poe would never know what Ben thought that he was that was so bad that Rey couldn't possibly want to be his girlfriend, because the subject of the conversation and her friends, including Poe's own boyfriend, joined them at the bar. Jannah, wearing a short blonde wig and dressed as Natalie's character, bent over the counter to ask the bartender for some shots for them. Then she turned her attention to a cute girl also getting drinks by the bar.

Rey, in a red wig and a denim jacket like Dylan, nonchalantly tapped on Ben's shoulder for him to make space on his lap for her, where she spread herself comfortably. Finn embraced Poe from behind, smearing him with the baby oil, and pointed to Rose, who had a tight leather jacket on as Alex.

"I don't think I've introduced you both yet. Poe, this is Rose, she was in Computer Programing class with Rey and is the treasurer in the NYU Student's Union. Rose, this is the famous Poe." The girl was really adorable. With a smile so big and open that made huge dimples appear on her cheeks. She offered her hand to Poe, who, in return, kissed it charmingly.

"It's a pleasure to meet Finn's friends, Rose. I remember you from that rally, months ago. You were great with the megaphone." Finn had his chin nested on Poe's shoulder and his hands intertwined in the middle of his torso, on a loose embrace, while Poe chatted with Rose. How could someone that lived such hardships in life be so comfortable with public demonstrations of affection like he was?

"Oh no! You were there?!" Rose's eyes went wide and then she twisted her face in a nervous grin, scrunching up her nose in the process. "I just _hate_ to speak in public, but Jannah was sick that day and couldn't go and Rey's throat was already sore from carrying the whole thing on her shoulders. Finn is great when he speaks in public, a real leader, but he isn't an NYU student, so the task was mine to bear with."

"I personally think that's bollocks and that Rose always does a great job when she's speaking at our Resistance cell for young activism. But she has this thing that she needs to have something in her hands to be tinkling with so she can speak without getting nervous, right, dearie?" Poe could feel Finn's smile on his cheek and the tenderness in his voice. He turned his back a little to Ben, to face her more, and embrace Finn by his side with his right arm.

"I, for one, love to have a megaphone in my hands and lead a crowd, but I get that it's not for everyone." Added Poe, tucking a strand of hair from his full wig behind his ear, and languishly crossing his legs. He saw the girl's eyes roaming his figure with a little more than casual interest.

"That's because he loves to be the center of attention, Rose. He's a Leo and really can't fathom the idea of liking to work from behind the curtain." Poe feigned being offended, putting a theatrical hand on his chest.

"¡Qué horror [8]! Being attacked by my boyfriend because of my star sign, something that doesn't even exist!"

"Stop sounding like a straight Marxist, babe. I'm a fucking Libra and this tells you everything you need to know about me."

"That you're way too attached to star calculations from who knows what century described through Hellenic myths?" Poe and Finn turned to look at Rose, both equally surprised for different reasons, who had one brow up and a sly smile on her lips. "I'm kidding." And then she put one of her hands on her face and got closer to Poe, in a conspiratory manner. "I'm not." Finn opened his mouth even wider, completely fake-revolted. "I'm a Taurus. I like machines and Physics and things that make sense, if that matters to you, Finn."

"So you speak Zodiac!" Exclaimed Poe, with an uproarious laugh.

"When you're around sapphic millennials all the time, you don't really have a choice in this."

"Oi! I'm not a sapphic!" Protested Finn.

"I won't discuss this with you in front of your boyfriend to not embarrass you, Finn, but your inner sapphic is way stronger than you would think."

Before Finn could protest more, the round of shots appeared in front of them and Rey jumped from Ben's lap to squeeze herself between Rose and Finn, while Jannah ran over towards them.

"Less chatting, more tequila!" Screamed Jannah, arriving at the counter with her wig slightly crooked after making out with the girl she was flirting with.

"Way a minute!" Rey stopped Rose's distribution of shots, that included Poe and, apparently, Ben on the counting. "Ben! Come over here drink with us, love!"

Everyone turned to look at Ben, who reminded Poe of a deer struck with headlights.

"Huh, I'm… I'm actually good here. I don't even like tequila..." His voice got quieter at every word, and Poe turned to look at Rey, who was so close to him that her wig's hairs brushed at his shoulders, and saw the reason why. She had a pleading look on her face, like a little kitten abandoned on the sidewalk.

"If you don't come here, you won't be in the selfie, Ben..."

"I really rather not be on the selfie, Rey." He muttered, without any conviction. They did a staring contest for a few more seconds until Rey twisted the knife on Ben's gut:

"Ben, you promised me you would try." With that, he gave a defeated sigh, chugged the rest of his beer in one gulp, and dragged himself to be behind Rey, by Finn's side. "Amazing! Now, can you hold my mobile for me, love? You have the longest arms of the group!"

  
  


Poe and Finn left the party at 3 am. The next day was El Dia de Todos Los Santos and they had to be up in the morning to go to the flower shop to get Poe's order before heading to the cemetery to visit Sarah's grave. She was buried in a small cemetery in New Jersey and, luckily, most of the Latinx community in the US would celebrate their dead on the following day, so the bus trip wasn't that much of a hellish experience, but, still, it was a bus trip.

They had to be up early, but they also could nap on the bus ride and it was really a waste to keep ignoring Finn's beautiful glistening body covered just with a golden speedo and the fact that Poe was wearing stockings with garter belts. So he leaned on his bedroom door frame while Finn was sitting on Poe's bed untying his golden sneakers and said, seductively:

"From what I've heard, you have been a very naughty boy, Rocky."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was named after a verse from song by Cazuza, great Brazilian bisexual icon. The verse translates to "And some poison that gives me joy" and it's title is "Todo o amor que houver nessa vida", which translates to "All the love there is in this life"
> 
> [1] Of course not, Kay, please  
> [2] In Guatemala, the Day of the Dead is called "Day of All Saints" and is celebrated as a huge festivity on November 1st  
> [3] Mexican telenovela from the 90s. I highly recommend it to anyone who loves huge dramas and bad acting. In a nutshell: identical twin girls separated at birth have very different lives. One is poor and good and a virgin and the other is rich and evil and fucks. The evil twin (Paola) blackmails the good twin (Paulina) to pretend to be her for her family so that she can have a little vacation on being a gold-digger and an evil stepmother and just travel the world and fuck with one of her lovers for a while. Paulina complies and then falls in love with her brother-in-law, who thinks she's his wife - who suddenly doesn't fucks anymore. Iconic.  
> [4] Brazilian telenovela from the 90s set 50% in fake Morocco and 50% in rich Rio de Janeiro. Basically, this crazy doctor has twin sons and he clones the one that dies and the one that lives has a Forbidden Love with a Muslim woman from Morocco, and then she also bangs his clone 20 years later. A mess. Nothing makes sense. Iconic.  
> [5] There were roughly ten years in the 50s that Guatemala wasn't in a civil war or a dictatorship or anything and many social rights laws passed. The day the dictator was overthrown in the beginning of it is celebrated there to this day.  
> [6] Audre Lorde: black, lesbian, and revolutionary poet. Of course, Finn is a fan.  
> [7]That's what naughty boys deserve  
> [8] That's horrible!


	4. I always thought I would sink, so I never swam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next to last chapter (maybe I'll add an epilogue, maybe the final one will be real long - leaning towards an epilogue, tho): Poe and Finn have an established relationship and move in together. Finn is really fond of Rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once more, this chapter wasn't revised. So, keep in mind that English is my Second Language.

When Poe woke up, Finn was already awake, still wearing his silk bonnet, and reading some book. Poe turned on his side to snuggle with him and realized it was his mom's "Social Reform or Revolution?" that Finn had in his hands. It was filled with her little hand-written notes on the margins.

"Buenos días, cariño. You're chatting a little bit with her before the official introduction?" He sneaked his hand in Finn's belly, pulling him closer. Finn raised his eyes from the book, closed it very carefully, and put it to rest on the bedside table that, little by little, was becoming completely his. He caressed Poe's hair for a few moments in silence.

"Poe."

"Yes?"

"I'm in love with you." Poe froze in place, feeling a surge of panic course through his veins. "I know I act really cool and this is, in part, due to my awesome therapist. But I've never said it to anyone before and I'm kind of scared right now."

That confession, being said in the tiniest of voices, made Poe rise on his elbows on the bed.

"Why would you be scared?"

"Are you kidding me?" Finn huffed a nervous laugh. Poe sat on the bed, not understanding how this could be going south so fast. "You're over a decade older than me, you probably had lots of boyfriends before and I… I told you that you're my first serious relationship. No one ever took me to meet their parents, even more, if they were dead."

"I've never taken anyone to meet my mom either, Finn. Hm, we… we've had different experiences. Maybe I haven't been so explicit with you, especially because I thought you would look at me badly for this, but I've never had a serious relationship either. People usually jump off this ship as fast as they can." Finn frowned his face with this. Of course, he would think Poe had some serious problems, a 38-year-old man that never called a guy his boyfriend and…

"What? Why would… Ok, you probably had a really bad taste in guys in the past and I can't believe that people… You cook, you're good with foot massages, you have this amazing tiny library at your very nice two-bedroom flat, you're super hot and..." Poe interrupted Finn mid-sentence to kiss him. Morning breath and all. After all, his own father wanted nothing to do with him. He couldn't offer kids, nor was a beautiful bride to be taken to the altar to anyone - not that he believed in marriage or anything, but… This was all he had. The tiny library, Bebé, foot massages, and his cooking in exchange to deal with his neediness and his ego and sometimes blinding arrogance. And, to Finn, this was apparently good enough. If he said that he loved him back right there would it sound true? Oh, fuck it.

"Te amo. Te quiero. I've been in love with you since our second date, I guess, if you forgive me for being a ridiculous sap." Finn laughed and ran his hands on Poe's face. He didn't realize that he was crying. "Ay, look at me, I'm crying like the old queen that I am, Finncito." He pressed his thumbs against his tear ducts and looked up, trying to make it stop. "Are you sure you want all of this mess?" Finn pulled his hands away and gently kissed Poe's eyelids while drawing gentle patterns on the back of Poe's hands, that he held over his heart.

"I have my own baggage, Poe. And, as you are well aware, I come in a package with Rey. To have one is to have the other in your life, ok? And that's to love someone, right? Mess and all."

Poe nuzzled his nose on Finn's neck and kissed his pulse a few times before repeating back to him "Mess and all" like it was their most solemn vow.

  
  


There were still Halloween decorations everywhere on the way to the graveyard and they walked by dozens of people walking in the streets half-sleeping, with their costumes disheveled. It was one of the few times of the year that you could basically just know who came from Guatemala by looking at the people in their best church-going clothes, with flowers on their hands, on their way to visit their deceased beloveds just one day before the rest of the Latinx community.

The cemetery in New Jersey was scattered with people. Some in groups, some alone, most speaking Spanish or native languages. Some wore all black and wept with their rosaries on their hands, others would go in their most vibrant and beautifully embroidered clothes and have picnics and play music. Poe was in the second group.

That year, he chose to wear over his red turtleneck shirt a long and vibrant cardigan - it's wool had the same shade of green of baby leaves at the beginning of Spring and many different flowers in all shades of red and yellow were scattered through it, delicately embroidered. Kaydel had given him for Christmas last year. Finn, over his pants and a long-sleeved shirt, was wearing a yellow Nigerian caftan that Poe could only describe as regal. They had brought, besides the customary flowers, a picnic blanket and some of Sarah's favorite foods: New York cold pizza, sweet empanadas, and soda with lime.

"Hola mamán" said Poe, crouching to take off the dead leaves and flowers by her grave. "Hoy tengo una persona aquí conmigo. El se llama Finn y es un hombre muy hermoso que quiero mucho. Sé que tu ya lo sabes, porque siempre estás conmigo, pero creo que una presentación formal de mi novio es importante." [1] He turned to Finn, smiling, and signaled for him to crouch too. Finn opened the picnic towel and sat beside Poe, arranging their spread in front of Sarah's tombstone. "She was a really amazing person, I know you and she would have been friends and teamed up together all the time to gossip behind my back." Finn lovingly intertwined his fingers on Poe's.

"You're really naive to think that this wasn't exactly what I was doing this morning when chatting with her book." He said, with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

"You were?!" Poe wanted to feign surprise, but he was way too happy to not have a huge dorky smile plastered on his face.

"Absolutely. I realized that I haven't asked her permission to date her son yet and I can't have your mum thinking I'm a bad influence on you."

"And what did she say to you?"

"She said that she didn't own you to allow or not any of your relationships and that this was a very square thing for me to do." Poe started laughing. "But she gave us her blessing and told me I should just tell you I loved you at once."

"Yes, that sounds pretty much like her, Finncito." Finn caressed Poe's face with his thumb, smiling.

"I love you."

  
  


Loving Finn was surprisingly easy. He ended up being addicted to telenovelas - even more than Poe - and would love to discuss in profundity how the hyperbolic dramas were an excellent means of catharsis and dealing with complex human emotions. He would forget that he had popcorn on his lap and would watch, mesmerized, the twists and more twists within the stories.

"I think people misunderstood this gravely." He gravely said, one day.

"How did people misunderstand La Ususrpadora, mi amor?" Asked Poe, whipping up the batter for Ben's birthday cake. They would have a small gathering at his place, by Rey's insistence, but neither of them knew how to bake, so they delegated it to Poe. It was November 15th.

"See, people keep looking at Paulina just as the 'good' twin and talk about her like she was some pure angel, but girl took part in a long con..."

"She was blackmailed, Finn."

"Yes. And, yet, for months she pretended to be a different person and enjoyed the perks that came with it. I'm not judging! I'm just saying that she's no saint either and she could drop her holier than thou attitude."

Poe hummed in agreement, smiling to the bowl in his arms, thinking how only Finn could be so pressed about a Mexican telenovela that was almost his age. Their days were like this during the weekends and Poe would leave the South Bronx during the week, when Bebé overgrew most of his compulsive chewing phase, to sleep at Rey and Finn's apartment since it was closer to Columbia and to their works.

By April it was obvious that Finn wasn't about to run away from him any time soon. They would argue sometimes, of course, and Finn made Poe promise that he would never give him the cold shoulder in those moments. Poe wasn't the only one that needed constant verbal reassuring of their commitment. They still maintained their individualities, though, and that was something that made them both happier in their relationship. They had a tacit agreement to not give details of the nights they've spent apart and Poe would never bring other men to his place. Finn could not be jealous of Poe's sexual activities, but he was very much jealous of Bebé having a relationship with other people. Even when Rey took care of him for them once in a while when they wanted to have more privacy or stay out all night, Finn would slightly purse his lips, possessive, when Bebé cried at being taken away from her.

Another thing that made Poe very happy was how dedicated to his friends Finn was. He and Rey were siblings, sure, but Finn would go out a lot with Rose to do their nerdy shared hobbies like cosplaying and watching Lord of The Rings and Startrek marathons. They would also text a lot, discussing politics and physics and exchanging memes that sometimes Finn would show Poe and Poe wouldn't always get the fun in them. He knew it was Rose that he was texting with when Finn would shake his head and mutter things like “what a nerd” in the most endearing tone possible.

They moved in together in May. Finn agreed that it was better if he brought his stuff to Poe's place, due to its size and the fact that it was rent-controlled and he had lived there for the past decade. They actually started to talk about the moving-in in February, but Finn took a long while preparing Rey for this and then helping her find a non-insane roommate. Luckily, Kaydel was also in need of a new place to stay and she wasn't keen on living alone like Poe. She'd rather be closer to the Foundation. Poe eventually asked him why Rose wouldn't move in with Rey, she seemed like the obvious choice since they were all friends. Finn just shrugged and said that "due to excessive history, it was better to avoid further complications". Poe wasn't interested in pressing for more.

"Why don't you ask her to come to have dinner with us this week?" Poe turned his tablet off and decided that it was enough of checking his work emails for that night. The Resistance and the Foundation wouldn't crumble to dust if he gave his boyfriend his undivided attention.

Finn stopped re braiding his hair for a moment, in front of the bathroom mirror, and looked at Poe, puzzled.

"Who?"

"Rose. You keep talking about her all the time, she seemed a very lovely person when we met, at the Party's Halloween party, and all of your friends were here at our celebratory dinner party last month, minus her. She could come. I could make ceviche. She's not a vegan, is she?"

Finn focused really hard on his hair for a moment, before answering.

"No, she's not a vegan."

"Good. I can do coconut ceviche, but it just feels way too much heretic for me."

"Babe, I thought you wanted to not get involved in my relationship with Rose."

"Why? She's lovely and a great girlfriend, and I think it's amazing you like her so much. The only jealousy I have is that I'm automatically excluded to be friends with her. I mean, if you rather keep your relationship just your thing, I won't budge anymore, but, come on, rum… Ceviche… Laughing a lot at your star-sign obsession… Seems like a great night for me."

Finn finished his work, dabbed a little more of coconut oil on the braids and wrapped his silk scarf on his head, finally leaving the bathroom and meeting Poe on their bed. He was so serious about this and Poe just couldn't fathom why.

"Poe… are you sure of this?" Finn asked, looking Poe straight into his eyes.

"Yes. Bring her to dinner, there's nothing to be afraid of. I think it's past the time for us to be friends, anyway."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is named after Miley Cyrus "Malibu".
> 
> [1] "Hi mom. Today I have someone here with me. He's called Finn and is a very handsome man that I love so much. I know you already know because you're always with me, but I believe that formally introducing my boyfriend is important."
> 
> [research notes]  
> 1) "Social Reform or Revolution?" (1900) is Rosa Luxemburg's most famous book. It was written for an SPD congress (the Social-Democratic German Party) in which they were discussing how to insert themselves in the uprising German democracy. Big names of the Party defended that they should focus on negotiating social reforms within the capitalist State and that the Revolution would come in a very advanced state of Capitalism when workers would have power and means to think for themselves. History proved them wrong. Rosa, however, defended that the Communists should focus their strength in opposing the State and spreading their ideas to the working class. Rosa Luxemburg was a Jewish woman, born in Poland in 1871, and one of the first women to get a degree in Economics in Germany. She would later break ties with the SPD and create the Spartacist League with her lover and partner, Karl Liebknecht. The Spartacist League would become the Communist Party of Germany. Rosa and Karl were murdered in the Weimar Republic by orders of their old social-democrat comrades. Rosa Luxemburg is one of the biggest references for the specific branch of Trotskyism I'm representing here.  
> This book is her most accessible work to read, it's available for free online and I strongly recommend to anyone who lives in a country that's dealing with similar dilemmas.


	5. Baby, don't make me spell it out for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your boyfriend's girlfriend come to dinner...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end, dears. I'm sorry for taking so long for updating and for this being such a short ending. I hope I don't disappoint you guys. I love those three a lot and I don't really know why it was so hard for me to write this (taking notes to talk about it in therapy).  
> It's my first complete work here! Thank you for being with me during this journey.  
> Amo vocês, beijos latinos!
> 
> P.S.: The song is "The way you make me feel", by Janelle Monaé

Rose arrived punctually, bringing with her a carton of chocolate and cherry ice cream. She was just wearing a pair of high-waisted denims and a white T-shirt, but the simplicity made her more pretty. Poe was finishing up the Leche de Tigre to throw the prawns and the chopped corvina fish by the kitchen counter. Finn opened the door and Poe could hear them whispering in the hallway.

"I invited you here so we could be friends and gang up on Finn, not for you two to exchange secrets while I cook, nena [1]." Shouted Poe, playfully, while he sprinkled parsley over the dish, satisfied with how pretty it looked. They got inside the apartment and Rose sat at their dinner table while Finn put the ice cream away and got a bottle of white wine that was chilling in the fridge.

"No one is ganging up on anyone during this dinner, please." Finn pleaded, while filling up their glasses.

"No one is ganging up on Rose, that's for sure."

"Why?" She asked, popping up on her mouth a grape that Poe had left on the table as part of the appetizers.

"Ay, por favor, just one look at you and even a blind man could tell you're too much of a top for this."

"By your logic, we really should gang up on Finn and he would  _ love _ it, huh?" Finn choked on his wine with Rose's sass. Poe looked at her, shocked, for a moment, and, when she wiggled her brows, they started laughing together, until their eyes were full of tears. "Oh god," she was the first to try to stop laughing, wiping her eyes and trying to breathe normally "we really shouldn't be this bad to our lovely crumpet. He doesn't deserve it." Poe took a gulp of wine to calm himself, noticing that Finn wasn't really annoyed. He had a peaceful smile on his face, more relaxed than he had been all day. "I'm sorry, sweetie." Rose squeezed Finn's hand over the table, who, in turn, just shrugged and muttered that she shouldn't worry.

"Crumpet?" Poe suddenly realized the unusual nickname.

"You know, British and adorable." Answered Rose matter-of-factly. Poe laughed, endeared, and shook his head.

"I suppose it's a girlfriend thing, right?"

"Yes, exactly." Her dimples showed up when she smiled at Poe, before giving a kiss at Finn's cheek. Their table was round and Finn sat in a chair between Poe and Rose, who were facing each other.

"Ok, I won't pretend to get it. You children do your millennial thing. Now, let's eat this ceviche? I learned the recipe from my roommate in college, who was peruvian."

They dug in the main dish and the sweet potato chips that Poe had made as a side dish. The dinner was light, filled with laughter and, when that first bottle of wine ended, they opened another one to drink while eating the ice cream Rose had brought.

"So you both work at the Organa Foundation?" She asked.

"Yes, but in different areas. Finn, as you probably know, is a paralegal to the Legal Aid team, and I'm a researcher."

"You're an Economist, right?"

"As mamá wanted, I am an Economist."

"You didn't want to work with that?" Rose was slumping over Finn's shoulder, slightly tipsy and licking her ice cream spoon as if there wasn't more on the carton that she could get for herself.

"I mean, I like doing research. It's useful, it's fun. But I actually always dreamed of being a pilot."

"A pilot?" Finn asked, surprised and endeared.

"Yes, I was fascinated with airplanes when I was a boy, and, for a very small period of my childhood, I even dreamed of enlisting."

"Wow." Both Finn and Rose were pretty surprised. Poe didn't usually say these things out loud because his friends were all anti-war and socialists and so was he but… Airplanes were so, so cool.

"Yeah. Mamá looked at me like I had told her I liked to kick dogs or something when I vented those dreams to her. And then she proceeded to tell me how the United States war machine was responsible for all of the coups that she and Papá ran away from, how they trained the dictators and their pawns… Well, let's say I switched my dream to commercial aviation, and then she persuaded me that I needed to have a college degree and have an important job so I could take care of her when she became a viejita… Then she died and I still decided to follow her dreams. It keeps me close to her."

"I totally get it." Rose whispered, reverently. Poe drank a little bit more of wine because remembering that he would never take care of his mamá was  _ hard _ . "My parents died about seven years ago and my sister gave up on their plan for her to have an M.D. because she wanted to have a PhD but then she dropped out of school and… I love engineering, machines are great and they always make sense, but I'm mostly pushing so hard because I want to make money and support Paige. But, wow, considering the army is a tough one."

"I'm glad your mother persuaded you to give up on that, love. You guys know that I went to a military school back in the UK and I almost enlisted in the Officials School… Poe, you wouldn't last a day among them." Finn was picking on his cuticles to talk about that and Poe didn't want to counter-argue and say that he was raised by two warriors and that he knew how to behave in battle, that he had been in worse conflicts with the police than Finn could ever imagine. It didn't matter. He was probably right because the closet was always too tight and too small for Poe and the armed forces aren't exactly a safe space for queer people anywhere in the world.

They switched their conversation to aircraft and aerodynamics, Rose amazing them with her knowledge on the subject. Poe showed to her his small collection of airplane models and Rose promised to give him a new one, when his birthday arrived.

Her parents were refugees too. They left Vietnam due to the war in the 70s and both wandered around the world until settling in the US, ironically, where they had built their life with sweat and sacrifice. That was a story they all shared. All of their parents ended up finding shelter in the nations responsible for the demise of their homes. Freedom in the lands that sponsored or starred in the wars and coups and military regimens that scarred all of their lives. Freedom under the Empire. That’s why Poe, Finn, and Rose knew they had the duty to fight and crumble that world with their bare hands, so that no other child would have to find out what it meant to be a refugee.

"I can't believe I was afraid to come here." Rose slurred, when they had already finished the third bottle of wine. "Finn was very afraid too. I thought you were a scary scary boyfriend, Poey."

Poe laughed, they all laughed.

"But I'm so nice. I get along with all of Finn's friends, why would you be different?"

"Well, yeah, that's a way to look at things… But, you know, for someone that couldn't handle the whole concept of bisexuality really well until a year ago, you're doing pretty well" Rose exaggerated her pronunciation of the words and giggled with herself for a moment before finishing her sentence, "with the fact that I'm Finn's girlfriend."

"Oh, that's not a big…" Poe began saying but then something clicked in his mind and "wait, what? You're Finn's what?"

The whole evening was suddenly being stretched in front of his eyes and dissected through a different angle. Poe couldn't hide the confusion and the anxiety from his face and, somehow, it hurt more that Finn and Rose almost jumped to stop touching when they, too, understood what was going on.

" _ You're his girlfriend? _ " His voice was high-pitched when he got up and put the chair in front of him, almost as a shield.

"Babe, Poe, we thought you knew. I've never hid it from you, I used this word, you used this word..."

" _ Of course I didn't know!  _ Oh my god, I thought she was your girl-friend, not your girlfriend-girlfriend. Madre de diós, ¡como fui estúpido! Un idiota, completamente ciego. ¿Y ustedes? ¿Cuánto tiempo han estado jodiendo?[2]"

"Poe, I don't..." Finn started.

"I think that's very rude of you to ask that. How long have we been fucking? How the fuck did you not know that your boyfriend was dating someone else and how is that worthy of a telenovela drama when no one here believes in monogamy?" Rose interrupted Finn, getting up as well and putting a finger on Poe's face. "And he doesn't speak Spanish, so can you please switch to English, so that he can argue with you too?"

"Poe, what the hell? I've never referred to any of my friends as a 'girl friend', that's a dumb thing that weird straights and gays say. And, yeah, I agree with Rose, that's super rude of you to say those things."

"Oh, sure, be on her side! I didn't even know that you were still into women and now I find out that you have a relationship with one and…!" Poe groaned, frustrated.

"What did you think that I meant all those times that I've said that I'm bi?" Finn was up too, looking even more hurt and confused than Poe.

"I don't know! That your journey out of the closet was different than mine? That you were conf..."

"I swear to god that, if you say the word 'confused' right now, I will scream." How could someone as tiny as Rose could also be so intimidating? A top, as Poe had seen when she stepped into the apartment, through and through. Her voice was curt but very low and calculated, and Poe had no choice but to take a deep breath.

"Poe, loving you was no revelation about my sexuality, I'm sorry. It changed deeply who I am, for the best, in other aspects of my life, and in how much I feel safe and loved. Or, I don't know, felt until ten minutes ago." Finn took the floor, using his lawyer voice. "This is who I am. I'm bi, I'll always be bi. I love you. I love Rose." He loved her. That declaration was a stab on his chest and Poe felt the urge to sob.

Those millennials and their damn fluidity. They had never been exclusive, but they also really didn’t share when they had sex with other people. They used condoms with each other and with others, since love meant protection. That was a lesson Poe learned the hard way seeing his references in Ball Culture dying like flies with aids when he still wasn’t legally old enough to drink or even be there. But he and Finn didn’t really talk about what Poe assumed was guys in parties and random hookups.

Except it wasn’t. Finn kept going:

"I want everyone to be happy. I thought that you wanted to create something together, the three of us, be Rose's friend. I was excited for this. We can go back to separating things, if that's too much for you, but you will need to address your biphobia and deal with this, love."

" _ No _ ." Fuck, he was crying already. "I can't compete with this, I can't."

"Compete?" Finn prodded.

"Yes! Rose can give you a future like I can't! With her, you could pass as 'normal', you could guys move to the suburbs and meet her sister and have babies!" Poe was drunk and blabbing a bunch of crazy stuff. He knew they were paranoias but those were the paranoias that had inhabited his mind for the past twenty years. "You, you can have a  _ real _ family together."

"What the hell, Poe?" Rose took a step back, shaking her head.

"Maybe you  _ were _ confused but not about her. Maybe I'm the phase! A blimp in your life! Something interesting to tell your straight friends in 20 years, drinking beers and talking about being wild in college." They looked so perfect in the pictures they had in their social media with Rey and Ben. And Poe… 

"Ok, Poe, I think you're super drunk right now, I think we need to take a step back here..." Finn tried to calm him down but Rose was fuming.

"No! I don't want to pretend that this is ok, Finn. Do you want to take shit from your boyfriend? Fine. I'm not listening to this crap silently. Listen up, Poe, you need to take your head out of your ass." Rose was harsh and shaking a finger in Poe's direction. This froze his tears for a minute, confused. " _ How dare you _ to think that you, somehow, are the queerer person here?  _ Move to the suburbs? Have straight friends?  _ Poe: what. The. Hell?"

"I don't think you understood what..." Poe tried to counter-argue.

"Oh, no. No, no, no. You  _ won't  _ try to gaslight me here. You said all of that shit five minutes ago on your meltdown, own it." Rose interrupted him.

He was feeling isolated and alone. Finn and Rose teamed up against him. They wouldn't listen. Everything that he feared was already happening.

"This is not some bullshit self-fulfilled prophecy, Poe. These are your own weird projections and fantasies and, honestly, to me, it's clear that you need therapy." Rose said this getting up and gathering her things to leave.

Poe and Finn argued all night and several others during that week. Finn didn't want to leave, but it wasn't easy.

Poe agreed to seek therapy. He eventually apologized to Rose. Several times. The truth was that, once Poe could face that his fears stemmed from being rejected by his father and how, deep down,  _ he _ wished to eventually be able to settle down and have kids -- and even throw a huge wedding party -- things got better. Rose wasn't a threat, she was a crucial piece of their story.

They made each other better. To Rose's insistence, Poe saved up money to get a pilot's license. Poe helped Rose to remember to be selfish too and not spend her whole time doing things for others. And Finn, Finn had the biggest heart in the world and loved them both in different ways, but equally.

Finn helped Rose finish up school and make a plan to pay her student loans. Actually, a huge part of this plan consisted of, at Finn and Rose's two year anniversary, the three of them moving to a house in Queens, gathering their salaries, and taking care of each other. The house was in shambles when they moved in, but Rose and Rey worked together with Ben's help for three weeks and they turned it into a home.

They had three bedrooms, one for each of them, and sleeping arrangements were created. Ironically, Poe and Rose found out that they liked a lot having sleepovers without Finn. They would watch an extremely dumb rom-com and each nachos and chat until falling asleep, cuddling.

They still fought. Sometimes Rose could be a know-it-all. Sometimes Finn was too much of a people pleaser. Sometimes Poe was arrogant and machista. Rose had a hard time learning not to clam up and pout when things didn't go her way. Finn had to not get desperate to please everyone and take his own stands in life. Poe, thanks to therapy, found out how to express his feelings in more cohesive ways, using his words, even if he was crying while doing it.

This was a classic telenovela triangle, but theirs didn’t end it with heartbreak. They wrote their own story, in their own terms. With Rose doing the butch work in the house, bettering and mending stuff to keep herself busy; Finn hoarding books even though that he knew it was humanly impossible to read them all; and Poe making empanadas while they sat on the sofa to watch novelas. Maybe they would have their shared chiquitos, if they wanted to, someday.

But, for now, with Bebé, they were a family of four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] "Baby"  
> [2] "Holy Mary, how I was stupid! An idiot, completely blind. And you? How long have you been fucking?"
> 
> Do you guys remember trig classes back in school? This story is called "Isosceles Triangles" because those are the triangles that have all sides with the same size and angles. Yup, I'm a nerd, but you guys knew it already ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Every chapter will be named after a song from a bisexual singer that I love. This first one is "Mr. Bad Guy", from Freddie Mercury.  
> I made the characters having the nationalities and ethnicities of the actors that originally play them. Also, they have their ages too because I'm a Bad Star Wars Fan and I have no patience to do calculations of the characters' ages and then apply it to a Modern Setting.


End file.
